I know I never come on Tumblr anymore, but I have just checked my account for the first time in months and I am so grateful for all the lovely messages. I have gotten a handful about my high school experience, so I just want to tell you guys my story so that I don’t have to answer all these questions individually. I hope this helps some of you out in one way or another, in a big way or small.
When I was in middle school - high school, i was fat. I was 5 feet, 150 pounds, and I was so uncomfortable with my appearance. My classmates did not make it easy on me. I did not have very many friends, and the “cool kids” would constantly make fun of me for being fat. Boys did not look at me, and I was so jealous of those gorgeous skinny girls who had boyfriends and a ton of friends. I was very very unhappy, because I wanted to be one of those girls so bad. I did not have your typical high school experience, with friends and memorable stories at prom or senior year. No one really looked at me… at all.
Towards the end of high school, about my junior and senior year, I decided I wanted to commit suicide. I arranged everything, I knew exactly how I was going to do it and I prepped myself for it fully. I hung that thing from a robe that ties it together, from my air conditioning vent above my bed. I was totally ready, but as I was standing on my bed ready to do it, I made myself a promise. I promised that if I didn’t like college, and if I was still invisible by the time I was a freshman at Saint Mary’s College of California, I would do it. But I would give college a chance first, to meet new people and give myself a name. So I waited. I lost 50 pounds and learned how to love the way I looked. I entered college very thin, but that’s a story of its own. People genuinely liked me in college and I made a TON of friends. I love my school and the people in my life, so naturally, I’m here, healthy, happy, and alive.
It’s funny how now, girls from high school try to be my friend, and the guys are all “getting at me.” I swear, I can’t count how many messages I’ve received from people, telling me how good I look now that I’ve lost the weight and have become so social and fun in college. I’m a completely different person, but those kids from high school, who did not even know I existed before, do not deserve any responses from me. Yes, you can stalk my photos on social media, but I will not “follow” you back. Have fun watching me be happy, because success is the best revenge.
Long story short, give life a chance. Pick a goal to look forward to, and watch what happens when you seek to complete that goal. I have never been happier.